Lost Angels

Once, I dreamt that I went into the waste lands. Los Angeles after the purification. The buildings leveled, piles of sorted and picked through rumble, in neat piles on each block. Roads cleared for easy movement and disposal of debris.

 I was looking for the place where the dark people hid, the sad people, the hell bound people. There was one place, on the hill over looking LA, a building that survived the tearing down of the once great city. A small two story place, made of brick. A store front with apartments over it. Kind of surprising it still stood, after all the earthquakes used during the purification.

 But there it was, still mostly intact and fairly safe. Not that I was concerned. I was unafraid of anything man could do. And so I went where sensible people avoided. It was a dark place, little electric light and the interior was lit only from the windows. My first glanced in showed me the type of people there and my appearance shifted to better blend, although I am not really able to blend at all. Too much light, too shiny. My energy alone declares me something else, some thing different and frightfully exciting.

 I stepped into the room looking like a bikers wet dream, young enough to be questionable on age, a body lush and impervious to gravity, an attitude that put them all on edge. I was too joyful. Too focused. It is my natural state. As an ascended master in the dark lands, I was a beacon of what could be, if only allowed to be.

 But it is hard to release the fears of many lifetimes. Of allowing the love of the Creator to become the predominate feeling within the heart, the body, and mind. And these were the hard cases. I love the hard cases, the bad boys and girls of the world. They need me so much but they really need their truth to surface. They need to realize that the greatest love they will ever experience begins within their own heart, for them selves. So hard to do, so worth while.

 As I stepped foot into the gloom, the man by the door muttered a line from a movie so classic, I looked for a TV, momentarily forgetting there wasn’t TV here any more. “You don’t belong here.” Soon as I realized that the words came from him, I reached for his head, but he pulled a way. No matter, my touch isn’t my only tool, my thoughts work as well, and I sent my energy to pet his brow, front to back, and to rest on his heart, awakening what is there to awaken. “I go where He wills.” was my simple reply and I moved deeper into the room.

 I threaded my way through the unexpected crowd! Must have been 30 to 40 people in this small space, probably intended for no more that 20. All the better for my purposes. It did make for a warms space, an aromatic place of unwashed humans in full fear mode. Terrifying and exhilarating too! I leaned on the bar when I got there, looked over the counter to see what beers they managed to find to put on tap. Any wheat beer will suite my needs. But none to be found. Just the cheapest and worst made was available. But it was part of my “cover” and I was in full character mode, so cheap beer it is! “I’ll have what ever is on tap.”

 The room had gone silent when I entered, it is so hard playing when everyone is fully aware of my truth but the game is still fun and serves the greater good, so play the game I would. I drank the beer, not that I wanted or needed it, which is good as it was very poor stuff indeed. But I drank deep and sighed my satisfaction, knowing it was just about to happen. The moment I came to be a part of.

 As I set my glass down, I felt the terrified courage of the person behind me, getting in closer than they felt it was safe to do. But they had this to prove, that they were not afraid of any little woman, however powerful she may actually be. They didn’t know me. They didn’t know my job, my purpose. What I really was. That my very presence would change them forever. No healing, no touching, no arguing or preaching. Just being there. But there he was, the courageous coward. The one feeling the need to scare me off.

 He must be new around these parts. I thought this silly little line as I felt the barrel of the gun in my back. I knew he was jumpy, and I knew he could hurt others with out meaning to, all in his desire to scare or harm me. I thought about throwing out the silly line about being new but thought I should be a bit more direct. I had noticed a few people move out of my field of fire, but not nearly enough, and in the cramped space and the unknown angle of the gun, it could go any where. So, my comment was straight to the point. “Careful where you point that thing as I don’t stop bullets anymore.”

 That knowing always filled me with delight but only enough to remember that it is true. And to empower that truth. But I leaned back just a bit, to make sure the gun was set in my back, and I could feel the angle. It wasn’t all that dangerous after all. Mostly up towards the ceiling. He had thought to shoot up into my heart. It would be warm and maybe a bit queasy but not painful.

I slowly turned to face him. I stared into his face. He tried so hard to avoid eye contact with me but I could look at him all day. I could heal him with my eyes but I wanted the complete surrender to the light that he was to give. Not because I was imposing it on him but because he was ready to do so. I can never make anyone awaken without their permission and desire. And he really did desire to awaken. He was so tired of being afraid. Of feeling unloved. He was ready and he needed me to be his excuse.

I saw the moment come and slowly reached to touch his brow and then his heart and the gun fell away, dropped to the floor into a melted heap of metal. I embraced him and we left. In a subtle flash of light I took him home.


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